Have faith!

This post goes out to parents of newly diagnosed kids. I hold this post close to my heart because I have many parents who expressed their regrets for being in denial of the new diagnosis for too long (some for years), only to find out recently that it is "too little, too late" for intervention. Just imagine having to undo and unlearn all your spelling skills and habits at the age of 12.

"Why me?" "Why has it got to be my child?" These are the questions that first come to their minds and on top of that, parents might feel a range of emotions: confusion, fear of the future, anger, denial, relief at confirmation of suspicion. Parents who have been there, whose kids had been diagnosed with a disability/condition have often shared with me about their grieving process and how they came out of it stronger.

Below are '4A tips' I've collated from my communication with parents and from additional readings. Hope they come in useful for you!

1) Agonise - You will go through a period of sadness, frustration and anger, and that's okay. Cry if you must but try not to wallow up for too long. Let the emotions flow, and then...

2) Alone, you are not - Talk to your spouse, your circle of friends and reach out to parents with special needs children in the community. In Singapore, we have many support groups that provide resources and a network for families living in Singapore with children with special needs (for example: http://www.specialparents.sg/index.php?page=helpful-organizations).

3) Action - Actively seek and provide your child with the right services. Work closely with the Allied Health Professionals and educators, they will provide your child with the right support and intervention.

4) Adjust - your own expectations. Focus only on what your child can do best and work on his/her strengths. A parent of mine recently shared, "I missed the days when he was so cheerful and happy boy (unlike now, he's all stressed up and caught in the rat race). I am okay to let him take his time to learn, just as long as he does not stop learning. I just want him to be happy."

Give your child time to develop. There is a time and season for everything. Above all else, stay optimistic. Your child's happiness is your happiness.

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