I am RESILIENT, so can you!

Resilient

adjective UK ​ /rɪˈzɪl.i.ənt/ US ​ /rɪˈzɪl.jənt/​

able to be happy, successful, etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened                                                                               (Cambridge dictionary, n.d.)

Many education research have confirmed that having a resilient disposition can make a difference to children’s academic success. Resilience is necessary to help a child cope with their challenges everyday. However, we would all have observed that a child who is struggling with the academic demands in school often have low levels of resilience. Some try a few times before giving up, there are also those who give up even before trying. Individual characteristics and environmental influences are two main factors influencing a child's resilience.

While we may not be able to alter the external environment, we can certainly work towards building a set of habits that will form a solid foundation of inner strength that our child can draw from in future. Here are 5 ways to help your child build resilience:

1) THINK POSITIVELY

Help your child to change negative thoughts and comments into positive statements

(e.g. Instead of saying, "I always fail in my exams", tell yourself, "I perform very well in my sports/music lessons.")

2) SET SMALL, ACHIEVABLE GOALS BEFORE MOVING ON TO BIGGER GOALS

Working towards achieving small goal is baby step towards gaining confidence and experiencing success

"Your child can’t be confident and successful until they understand how it feels to be confident and successful.”            

(DyslexiaDaily, 2019)

3) ALLOW ROOM FOR MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES

A child often finds it difficult to move on from their little setbacks and develop a "fear" of making mistakes. As parents/ educators, we need to inculcate the skills to help them recover from their setbacks and let them know, "No one is perfect, thus it is okay to make mistakes." One can do so by getting the child to reflect: Where did I go wrong? What can I do differently the next time to avoid making the same mistake? Rather than focusing on the mistake, it would be better to focus on what the child can learn from. These helps to transform a negative situation (i.e. mistake) into a positive one - a growth mindset.

"Resilient people immediately look at the problem and say, "What's the solution to that? What is this trying to teach me?"                                                        

(Rego's Life, 2014)

4) PROVIDE POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT

We often hear children say "I've done enough" or "That is good enough" when they complete a task. Many times, these efforts made are half-hearted. Giving your best shot should be done through a wholehearted attempt. When this happens, parents/ educators should advise, "You can do better than that", instead of "You are not trying hard enough". Being resilient would also mean to put in the best effort, as not doing so, will only make one complacent and slow down one's progress.

5) KEEP AN OPEN MIND

Help your child see that there are multiple ways to solve a problem. For example, a child should not be taught to memorise the steps to a Math problem, but instead be taught the different ways of tackling the same problem. Also, help your child see that there are multiple pathways one can take to achieve a goal (remember the success stories of EM3 individuals making it to Law School?). Over time, this inculcates a mindset within the child that there are many ways to dealing with a situation, just as there are many peaks of excellence to pursue.

6) WELCOME NEW CHALLENGES

Provide your child with opportunities to step out of comfort zones. This can include small changes to a routine, such as cleaning up a place with less instructions/ guidance from the parent, or bigger tasks such as learning a new musical instrument. No success is too small to recognise, for instance, instead of simply giving a more challenging book to a child to read, say instead, "You have already mastered the words in this book, let's move on to the next level of words. I'm sure you will be able to read as well." These actions, big and small, culminate into both recognition of a child's current ability, but more importantly, both motivates and challenges the child to try high-level order tasks.

References

Cambridge Dictionary. (n.d.). Resilient meaning. Retrieved from https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/resilient

Dunoon, L. (2019). 7 Ways to increase your child's resilience. Retrieved from https://www.dyslexiadaily.com/blog/7-ways-to-increase-your-childs-resilience/

Rego's Life. (2014). Musings episode 67: Resilience. Retrieved from https://regoslife.com/tag/resilience-definition/